Looking on the Positive Side
A simple technique which you will often see being unconsciously used by 'postitive' people is reframing. This is the art of looking at the glass half full. People who are negative will only see the negative side of a situation. It can be useful therefore to creatively influence their thinking by putting a different frame ('reframe') around the situation. So if someone complains that they feel tired you could remind them of how well they will sleep that night. If they are hungover you can point out that that is probably as bad as they are going to feel all day and that they will gradually feel better. When we were covering this topic on a training course we were encouraged to come up with sample statements for each other.One woman said 'My bum is very big'. Her training partner suggested 'Yes, but think how comfortable it is to sit on!' This might seem like simple wordplay but it is amazing how effective it can be at changing someone's thinking and subsequently their physiological state.
Of course we don't just have to come up with reframes for other people. It can be a good habit to develop for ourselves so that we don't get bogged down in a negative state when things go wrong. If you are stuck and don't know how to look at a seemingly negative situation in a positive way, then simply ask ' What can I learn from this situation?'. Recently in the corporate coaching business that I am involved with, we were dealing with a government agency that was providing funding for training in small businesses. We had put a lot of effort (and money) into promoting awareness of this funding but quite unexpectedly we were told by the government agency that the fund had expired and the scheme was finished. Initially I was upset at the way the situation was handled and about how much of our resources we had potentially wasted. Within a short space of time however I was able to reframe the situation and realise that our services are probably better suited to larger companies than those being targeted by the scheme. Now my focus is in a different place instead of stewing on what I might still see as a negative situation.
This article was written by Noel Clerkin, a Life and Executive Coach.
